The Death of Chivalry

That happened on January 13, 2012, is a harsh reminder that genders need to be well-defined. On this fateful day, the world saw the horror of what it would be like if men jumped ship with their masculinity.

The Italian cruise ship, Costa Concordia, partially sank with 4,252 people on board. Thirty people died and sixty-four were injured. Most notably, many of the crew left the passengers to fend for themselves while men were pushing aside women and children. Large men took, “every man for himself” to heart. Surprisingly, many of the women were appalled at their behavior. Chivalry appeared to be dead…but isn’t that what feminists have wanted all along?

For years now, men have been castigated for opening up doors for women, standing up on a crowded bus for the women needing a seat, and offering a lady help with groceries. Because of society, media, government, and foolish women, we have placed masculinity in the noose and pulled the lever. For forty years, men have been told they are “perverts, wimps, cowards, jerks, good-for-nothing, bumbling deadbeats and expendable.” The action on the Costa Concordia is the outplay of what society has been wanting: Equality.

The Problem

The problem is, we need men to be men. Which means we need men to be chivalrous. We need men to be fathers, husbands, leaders, and role models. From 1970 to 2007, marriage among twenty-nine-year-olds had fallen from 80% to 40%. Click here to read an article I wrote about men opting out of marriage. As we need men to be role models, we also need women to be role models (to women). Unfortunately, this has been the mantra since the 1960s. Now, we have two generations of men being tied to a pole and getting brow beaten…for being men.

The West pays no respect towards men, does not reward their efforts, and punishes them for doing things that society expects of them. That is the quickest way to lower moral: punish good behavior. Why try?

It matters that men are given the respect they deserve and that men have equal rights under the law. Helen Smith in, Men on Strike, puts it well, “We need men’s labor, their love of country and their sacrifice to survive; without it, we are at the mercy of those who wish to harm us; or maybe we will go down not with a bang, but with a whimper.”

Bringing it Home

Unbeknownst to me, when I was young, I fought against man and the idea of man. I was a tomboy and wanted to be like men. But with idols of the heart, what ends up happening is making that what we desire into our own image. I fought against men by wanting to become one. I was a male chauvinist because I thought that men were inherently better than women. I brought men down to my level by believing I could be just like them. Praise the Lord he made me a woman and praise the Lord for men.

Deep down, I knew men’s and women’s roles. I had great examples but didn’t understand the importance of keeping genders separate and distinct. The beauty of God’s order shows in the differences between men and women. Their skillsets are vastly different and they complement each other extraordinarily. In light of this, in the recesses of my soul, I did desire to be treated like a princess, wanting to be rescued. I looked down on men who were damsels themselves instead of brave princes who gave their life for their princess.

As much as I want to reverse what I have done, I cannot do it the way culture would. Men do not need women telling them to do anything else. In my opinion, the best thing to do is sit back, complete the roles and responsibilities that we as women are designed to do, and wait on our men to take their position back in society. Needless to say, they won’t be getting pep talks from me.

Nicole Leaman

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Nicole Leaman is a wife and mother of four daughters. With a degree in Criminal Justice, she writes essays about social matters regarding women and culture as a Senior Contributor to The Reformed Conservative.

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